A War of Science and Speed
by Tanzanite for Jade
Summary: After miraculously surviving the events of Sokovia Pietro finds himself to be 'hallmates' with the one and only Jane Foster. While the two are becoming acquainted with one another a prank war begins between the Avengers, and everyone in the tower must pick a side. How will our Hallmates turned friends handle being on the opposite side of the conflict?
1. The New Room

**AN: I came up with this crack ship the other day whilst watching Age of Ultron in my Marvel prep for Endgame. I saw nothing there for it so here it is, my crack ship of the one and only ex-girlfriend of Thor and unfortunately deceased speedster. I hope you enjoy my weird head-cannon.**

~~PM:JF~~

The sky was dark showing that it was early morning. Pietro awoke with a start as he felt a dull pain wracking his body. He felt like he had just been shot, albeit a while ago, and judging by the concerned look on his sister's face his intuition was probably right.

"So, judging by the fact that we're alive I can assume that Ultron is dead?" he asked Wanda. His voice was unexpectedly raspy.

"You assume right brother, I bet you have a few questions to ask," the girl stated with a thick Sokovian accent.

"Where are we? Are you okay? Was I shot? And do you have any candy?" the bleach blond man asked rapidly.

"Avengers Tower, yes, yes, and no," his sister stated with a slightly amused look on her face from the last question, "although I do hear that Thor keeps a hidden stash."

"Wonderful," Pietro said jokingly as he tried to sit himself up, "So, how are you?"

"I am fine brother, although I should probably ask you that," Wanda stated as she helped her brother.

"I feel like I've been laying down for forever. The pain from being shot also isn't pleasant," he said in a jovial manner.

Wanda humorously spoke as she retrieved a glass of water from the bedside table. "Don't be ridiculous, it was only two months. And how are you still feeling pain? Given your-"

"Two months!? How did that happen?" the speedster interrupted with an incredulous tone as he accepted the glass.

"You were placed in a medically induced coma after you were shot," the girl said cautiously as she gauged her brother's reaction.

"Well, I already knew I was shot but was the coma really necessary?" he asked as he tried and failed to hide the fact that he was freaking out a little.

"If you want to avoid permanent brain damage it was," Wanda said jovially in an attempt to calm him down.

"Oh," was all Pietro managed to say as he took a small sip of water.

"And I almost forgot, you have a room in the tower now," Wanda said to distract her brother.

"Really? A whole room to myself?" he asked with excitement brimming in his voice.

"Well, it's more like a suite," she said to her brother.

"What's the catch?" he asked with a sigh, realizing that this was too good to be true.

"You need to become an Avenger and you need to stay on the 'science' floor," Wanda stated.

"The science floor? What's that?"

"It's the floor where all of the scientists stay, as well as the Avengers who are really into science. You'll be sharing your hall with one of these people," Wanda told her brother.

"Just how big are these rooms?" he asked when he realized that his sister said hall.

"As I said before, it's basically a suite."

"Wow," Pietro said with excitement lacing his voice, "So, when do I get to move in?"

"Today if you are up to it. The doctors estimate you'll be back to your normal self within a half-day of moving around, although you will need to take some pain meds."

"Great, let's get going then!" Pietro exclaimed as he quickly jumped to his feet, only to promptly fall down due to atrophied muscles.

~~PM:JF~~

Jane was working at her desk. The equation in front of her was a particularly tricky one, and she was just about to crack it when she the intercom turned on.

The artificial voice of S.U.N.D.A.Y came through the speakers to tell her, "Miss Foster, your new hallmate will be moving in today. In celebration, Tony has ordered that you help The Avengers set up a room warming party. It is mandatory that you take the day off."

"Thank you, Sunday!" Jane exclaimed in the most sarcastic tone that she could muster.

"Does this mean I get the day off too?" Darcy asked, looking over the screen of her iPod for the first time that day.

"Yes Darcy," Jane sighed as she exited the lab.

The short scientist quickly made her way across the floor to the room opposite her own.

"So, who's my 'hallmate' going to be and why is it so necessary that I stop my work?" Jane asked the wealthy owner of the tower.

"A, you need a break; B, his name is Pietro Maximoff; and C, because it's the nice thing to do," Tony stated with a smirk plastered on his face.

"Oh, Wanda's brother. I hope he's as pleasant as his sister," Jane said, musing out loud.

Over the last few months, Wanda and Jane had become quite close. Wanda helped Jane see the Thor was not good for her, and in return, Jane tried to get either Wanda or Vision to ask each other out. Wanda frequently listened to Jane's rambling of the different types of wormholes if Jane returned the favour and listened to stories from Wanda's childhood. The pair had become almost as inseparable as Darcy and Jane.

Clint quickly jumped in, "He's a decent person from what I've seen, but if he says 'I bet you didn't see that coming' one more time you may find yourself short a hallmate."

"A quipper I see. I swear that's the only actual requirement involved in becoming an Avenger, otherwise you wouldn't be here Barton," Jane stated in a dull tone.

"Oh haha, very funny. You do realize that I'm one of the only two people here equipped for spy work," Clint fired at her.

"Exactly, and we both know that Natasha doesn't need your help."

At this point, the other people in the room had tuned into the miniature battle of wit that was happening in front of them.

"That, my friend, was cold," Clint said as he mock glared at her.

It only took a few seconds before most of the individuals in the room got a case of the giggles, that quickly turned into all-out laughter.

"Ok, ok, ok," Jane started, still trying to catch her breath and stifle her laughter, "So, we should probably get started on the preparations. Vision, Rhodey, you guys are on decoration. Tony and Thor, party games. Cap, I trust you with the alcohol. Barton and Nat, can you guys bake some cupcakes or a cake. I will handle everything else."

~~PM:JF~~

When Pietro and Wanda entered the room they were hit with a colour explosion as all of the Avengers and a few other people in the room set off those little hand-held confetti things. Pietro blinked a few times as he got used to the decorations that littered the room. A big banner that was stretched out across the window read 'WE HOPE YOU ENJOY YOUR NEW ROOM' in big letters.

"Wow, all of this for me? I am humbled at the thought," Pietro said with a thick Sokovian accent after he got used to the state of the room.

He looked at the different individuals in the room and took special notice of the short, tired-looking brunette.

"So, are we going to start this party yet or what?" a short, brunette woman asked, "After all, I didn't miss an entire day of work for us all to stand around awkwardly."


	2. The Awkward Party

**Welcome to chapter two, sorry if chapter one was a bit underwhelming. Let's get this party on the road.**

~~PM:JF~~

"Be fair, it was only three quarters," Tony said as he looked over at Jane.

"Still, I was just about to crack Einstein-Rosen bridges and-" Jane abruptly cut herself off as she realised that she was rambling.

"So, Twister anyone?" Steve asked as he pointed out the sheet and dial that were laying on the floor.

Several members of the room grumbled as they moved over to the game, with the exception of Natasha, she looked as though she was relishing the task. Jane decided that she would warn the new guy about Nat's competitive streak in the game.

"Jane Foster," Jane stated as she extended her hand.

"Pietro Maximoff. I take it that you're my 'hallmate' then, whatever that is," Pietro said as he shook her hand.

"Good, then I'm not the only one who thinks the idea is ridiculous then. I'm going to warn you right now that Natasha," she emphasized as she pointed out the red-headed spy, "is wildly competitive in this game."

"Don't worry, I can be quite competitive as well," Pietro exclaimed.

Once the game had started it turned out that Pietro really was quite competitive, using his considerable height and flexibility to his advantage. They had decided to use double-elimination, with the first place of three going on to the next round. Jane had made it past the first round, beating out Thor and Wanda in the first round. To be fair Wanda was about the same height as her, and Thor didn't quite grasp the rules.

Pietro had gone against Vision and Clint. He had easily won that match. Clint just gave up and Vision didn't quite understand why people enjoy it, so they basically gave up. That left the final round for determining the last finalist up to Tony, Natasha, and Steve. Unsurprisingly Natasha managed to beat the others through sheer determination alone.

"Are you not going to try Rhodey?" Wanda called out from the sideline.

"Only if you convince me that it wouldn't be wiser for me to stay here," the war veteran replied from his post behind the spinner, "Left foot on red."

With that, the game had begun. A small betting ring had formed amongst the losers, and the pool was getting to be ridiculous.

~~PM:JF~~

"$500 that Pietro wins," Steve said, shocking all of those in the loser and chose to abstain from the game circle.

"I, on the other hand, will root for the underdog. $700 that Jane wins," Tony responded as he placed a small lump of bills on the table.

Clint chimed in soon after, "Well, since she's my bestie and all, $300 on Nat winning."

"Did you just call me your 'Bestie'?" Nat called out from the mat in an accusatory tone.

"Of course fam!" Clint replied.

A heavy sigh was heard from Nat as the attention of the circle was once again drawn to the betting pool.

"Okay, so so far we have bets from Tony, Thor, and myself that Jane wins; Wanda, Steve, and Rhodey all have their pools on Pietro; and Clint is riding on Natasha to win," Vision summarized for all of the betters.

~~PM:JF~~

Back at the Twister Mat things were getting pretty intense, and Pietro was fairly certain that Jane would lose considering that she was the least invested in the game.

"Right hand on yellow!" Rhodey called from his cushion.

Pietro easily got the best yellow spot, to which both girls mumbled angrily under their breaths in response. Natasha managed to easily maneuver her way to the next best spot which meant that Jane would need to cross over or under himself in order to get to the last free yellow. Jane barely managed to pull it off, resting her weight on Pietro. As it stood the game was right foot on yellow, right hand on yellow, left foot on green, and left hand on blue. Given the way that Natasha's legs were trembling with exertion, as she was holding the most difficult position, Pietro could surmise that she wouldn't be in the game much longer.

"I'm out," Natasha stated in a tired voice as she collapsed in a heap, almost taking out Jane with her.

"That's a first," Jane said with exhaustion lacing her tone.

"Go, Jane!" He heard Tony shout from the sideline.

"I'm probably going to lose," Jane mumbled under her breath as Pietro felt her placing more of her weight on him.

"Right hand on Green," Rhodey stated.

True to her words Jane collapsed within the next two turns, her limbs having finally given out on her.

Pietro quickly went over to the short woman and offered his hand to help.

"Thanks," Jane said in a tired voice as he helped her to her feet.

Pietro was vaguely aware that everyone from the betting pool was handing money to Steve, Rhodey, and his sister.

"Good game," Pietro spoke to the astrophysicist.

"You failed me, Jane!" the two finalists heard from Tony.

"Well sorry if I can't beat a literal superhero!" Jane bantered.

~~PM:JF~~

Natasha, in order to remove the embarrassment of having lost, decided to say, "So, are we going to have pizza or play music or what?"

Everyone mumbled their agreement, a few more enthusiastically than others.

The red-haired spy was watching the new recruit to get a read on him. So far he seemed relatively jovial and extremely competitive, with a lot of heart. Given his sister's easy acceptance of The Avengers lifestyle, she assumed he would follow easily. His entire personality screamed easygoing nerd, something that was sorely missing from the few days when she met him.

It wasn't surprising then that he was already getting along well with the resident nerd. She glanced back over to where Jane was sitting across from the twins, easily talking with Wanda and Pietro about something that would probably go over her head.

On the other hand, Tony and Steve were in deep debate about the merits of gambling, probably because Tony was a bit cranky because he lost. It wasn't surprising because lately, those two were arguing about everything. She would need to keep her eyes on them.

Vision looked like he was trying to figure Wanda out. Rhodey was talking up his heroism to Thor, who was listening out of lack of anything else to do. Speaking of Thor, he was occasionally looking back at Jane with the eyes of a lost puppy.

"Jane, how's your work going?" Tony asked.

Jane looked up from her deep conversation to respond, "Well I've finally found a source of exotic matter, so now it's just a question of mass-producing it and finding a way to create string wormholes that are predictable and usable."

"Intriguing, can I look at whatever exotic matter it is that you have?"

"Sure, after all, I should probably know if the hazmat is necessary or not. If I recall correctly you were the only person who understood Bruce's research."

After a few hours passed everyone left the party except for Nat, Wanda, Jane, and Pietro.

"Well I should probably leave now, give you kids some time to talk," Natasha said as she stood up.

"Myself as well, you should probably get to know your hallmate better, brother. I will talk to you again in the morning," Wanda stated as she left the room.

Nat gave the two individuals a curious look before she left the room.

**AN: Sorry for messing up continuity with Thor, but at this point, I'm just going to roll with it because f-it, this is my hobby.**


	3. The Loud Noise

"So... are we just going to ignore the fact that Natasha and your sister think that 'Hallmates' are legitimate?" Jane asked sarcastically.

"Possibly," Pietro chuckled out.

The two stood around awkwardly, despite having gotten to know each other over the last few hours. The analog clock on the wall was passively ticking in the background, further emphasizing the silence of the individuals in the room.

"So... should I be going or?" Jane trailed off as she started to head towards the door.

"N-no! Um... you're fine," Pietro stammered out, causing Jane to stop in her tracks.

Pietro began to blush as he realised the suddenness of his sentence. Jane appeared to be blushing as well as she looked down. She took in a deep breath before talking to him.

"So, out of curiosity, why were you placed on the floor 66?" Jane asked as she sat back in the comfortable leather recliner.

"I suppose that Tony placed me in here because he wants to understand my power, and how it's physically possible," Pietro stated.

"Tony didn't choose where you are, Wanda did," Jane spoke in a confused voice.

Pietro thought about this for a few minutes as he tried to understand why she would choose to place him so far away from herself.

"You seem to have gotten close to my sister over the last few months, do you have any ideas on it?" he asked, trying to keep the insecurity out of his voice.

"I have no clue. She can be quite secretive," Jane stated as she gave a shy smile in Pietro's direction.

"True," Pietro chuckled out.

The two once again became quiet as the sound of the clock once again overtook the room. Jane spared a quick glance at the bland analog above the display table in the corner of the room.

~~PM:JF~~

"Anyways, I should really be going off to bed, after all," Jane slowly stood up, "it's 8:45 and I have some equations to get to in the morning."

"Alright. I suppose I might see you tomorrow?" Pietro asked

"Maybe," Jane said with a smile as she too left the room.

Jane quickly crossed the sterile, lowly lit hall to get to her room. She went to her bookshelf and grabbed a collection of Douglas Adams' short stories. She went to her favorite chair to pretend to read and ponder the man she had just met.

He was friendly enough, with a bit of wit and fun. He hadn't quite lived up to the expectations that his sister had set up for him, but has many other draw-ins that she had somehow forgotten. He was incredibly charismatic, a bit competitive, and much more intelligent than his demeanor would lead one to believe.

She decided then that she liked him. For the first time in her life, she understood how one action could cause someone to take a liking to an individual. She chuckled a bit as she recalled being on the opposing end of this instantaneous liking.

There was also one thing that surprised her in the sudden way that one would expect from a slasher film. He was hot. She thought he would look much more like his sister than he did. It was also miraculous that he could walk around as easily as he could, probably due to his high metabolism. She would need to ask him later.

She was looking forward to finding more about the open man, and dare she say, was excited to be his hallmate.

~~PM:JF~~

Wanda Maximoff was having a good night so far. Her closest friend that she had made was getting along with her brother, and this was brilliant to her. Wanda was taken out of her thoughts by the sound of the person beside her.

"Your brother is much more fun than I remember," the red A.I. shared with his companion.

"He can be quite fun when not under imposed villainy," the Sokovian brunette stated.

"I've been wondering," Wanda started, after a comfortable break in the conversation, "Do you retain the memories of Jarvis and Ultron?"

Vision paused, contemplating her question for a few seconds, "From a certain perspective, I do. Those memories are lost in a comfortable daze, like a warm summers day. With Jarvis, it feels comfortable, homely, and familiar. With Ultron, it feels feverish and sickly. A hot, humid day, where you can't escape the overbearing heat no matter how much I try. It's much as I imagine what a dream or childhood memory feels like to the average human."

Wanda supposed that it made sense. His description sounded like a dream, but it was hard rationalizing that with the man she knew. The silence in the air felt oppressive and constraining, the feeling that one gets when trapped in a hot car that has no ventilation.

Vision took note and quickly tried to fill the silence, "How do you think Jane and Pietro will react to being hallmates?"

"I'm not sure. I think, maybe, that they will become friends," Wanda carefully said.

The two walked silently through the halls, the comfortable quiet from earlier restored. Wanda looked out the window at the gorgeous scene before her. The afternoon sun highlighted the tall skyscrapers with orange light, emphasizing the beauty of New York.

Her life was back to somewhat of a status quo that had been missing from the first two months with the Avengers. Her brother was back, Ultron was destroyed, she has two good friends that remind her of Zala and Django. She did admit that the new people in her life, outside of her friends, were a quite nice addition, with the exception of Tony.

"Well, I had best be off to bed," Wanda awkwardly said as she turned to enter her warm, mahogany door.

"Goodnight then," she heard Vision call out to her before she closed the door.

~~PM:JF~~

Pietro slowly opened his eyes as the sounds of mechanical whirring awoke him from his bizarre dream. He debated the pros and cons of getting out of his bed. The pros included getting rid of that incessant noise and the ability to get the best breakfast food on the science floor. The con was that the bed was warm and the air was cold, and he was so tired.

Ultimately his hunger won out, a negative side-effect of his increased metabolism. He quickly pulled off his blankets to 'rip off the band-aid' so to say. He swiftly went through his daily routine before exiting his room. The incessant noise was considerably stronger when he entered the hallway. He chose to find out the source of his noise before breakfast given just how ear piercing it was.

He followed the noise to a cold, stainless steel door. He braced himself for a drastic increase in volume as he slowly opened the door.

The sight in front of him was incredibly bizarre. A young looking brunette wearing a toque and listening to something was rolling around in a chair behind the girl who he met last night. He racked his brain to try and recall her name. All he knew was that it started with a 'J'.

"Can you turn down the volume?!" he shouted above the mechanical whirrs.

"Oh! Sorry!" The short scientist shouted back as she turned off the industrial fan.

"Sorry if I woke you up," the scientist apologized.

"No worries, it wasn't an issue," Pietro said as he took a fast glance at her name tag, "What is it that you are working on this morning, Jane?"

"Overly complicated space travel that would be _so _much easier if Thor just let me into Asgard's library while I was there," Jane rambled out.

"Thor? You mean the blonde lightning guy?" Pietro asked.

"Yeah," she paused briefly for effect, "He's my ex."

"Oh... is that why you two didn't really interact at the party?"

Jane was about to respond before a female A.I. cut in, "Jane Foster, Tony wants you on the main floor."

The short girl sighed heavily before responding with, "I'll be right up!"


	4. The Planning Begins

**AN: Welcome back everyone who somehow came across my story. I have gone through the previous chapters and fixed them up a bit, including removing Bruce and fixing some hard to read lines. Now, let's get to the show! **

~~PM:JF~~

"Darcy, can you take over everything for a second," Jane asked the toque-wearing intern.

"Sure, but you owe me a favour," Darcy stated with a smirk.

"I'm definitely going to regret this," Jane mumbled under her breath, "So long as it's within reason."

Jane rushed out of the lab to the elevator in the large communal living area. The elevator ride had a smooth jazz version of 'Night Prowler' which was quite bizarre, but not bad. As soon as she opened the elevator door she was met with a very paranoid looking Tony.

"What's going on," Jane sighed as she stepped out of the elevator.

Tony looked around the recreational area before stating, "This area isn't safe, we'll need to go to the suit room."

Jane glared at Tony before following him. When they reached Tony's glorified garage Jane raised her brow at him, prompting him to tell her why she was wasting her time.

Tony started with, "This will sound crazy."

"What doesn't," Jane deadpanned as she cut him off.

Tony gave a quick glare to Jane before continuing, "Steve is planning something, and if Natasha's notes are anything to go by, a prank war is in the works."

"Why does this concern me?" Jane asked with hostility lacing her voice.

"Everyone who lives in this tower will be drawn in. I want your help for a first strike. If you help me now I will do everything in my power to ensure that your lab remains a safe haven," Tony explained.

"Can I see the notes?" Jane asked, maintaining her glare at Tony.

Jane looked at the several pages of hand-written notes. They didn't directly state that Steve was planning anything, or even implicate him. She looked up at him to see his expectant face.

"I'll need to corroborate this with Natasha, and then I'll get back to you," Jane stated as she slowly backed out of the room.

Jane was barely three steps down the hall when she heard F.R.I.D.A.Y speak over the intercom, "Jane, Tony has asked me to tell you that he has called Natasha down."

Jane sighed heavily as she raised her hand to pinch the bridge of her nose.

"Were you a fan of Dazed and Confused?" Natasha asked the irritated scientist.

"What makes you say that?" Jane asked in her most annoyed voice possible.

"Well, you just remind me of the freshman character, you know, Mitch," Natasha elaborated as she struggled to remember the film.

"Truly, an accurate observation. I am _very _impressed," Jane stated sarcastically.

"Did Tony tell you about the whole 'Prank War' thing?" Nat asked with big air quotes.

~~PM:JF~~

"So, are you in?" Tony asked Jane.

Natasha was enjoying this very much, Jane was glaring at Tony, Tony was acting unnecessarily paranoid, and she had just managed to convince the poor girl to join their cause. Her reasoning is very different from Tony's, and she explained her true reasoning to Jane outside the room. It was in Nat's belief that Steve needed to live a little and not be so uptight, and a prank war was just the method for that. It would also help to defuse tensions in a less destructive manner than full-blown conflict.

"Yes, I am in," The short scientist said through gritted teeth.

"Well then, now that's over and done, does anyone want a margarita," Tony said.

"No, I want to work on my equations," Jane stated as she abruptly turned on her heel and left the room.

"Do you want to start planning?" Natasha asked.

~~PM:JF~~

Pietro snapped his head around to look at the metal door as the short scientist entered the room.

"What did Tony want?" Darcy asked her boss as Jane made her way to the comfortable looking swivel chair.

"Unfortunately, I am currently under confidentiality, and as such, won't be able to tell you anything," Jane stated while looking quite irritated.

The small brunette then sat in her chair and started typing numbers into the computer. She looked like she had been annoyed, and was taking quite some time to calm down. Darcy went back to her spot on the metal counter and turned her iPod back on.

After a few uncomfortable minutes, Darcy removed one earphone and said, "Say, Jane, you should probably have breakfast."

"I probably should," Jane sighed out.

"Thanks for reminding me," Pietro said as he recalled his hunger.

Pietro used his power to quickly make his way to the shared kitchen. He was internally debating the healthy looking fruits vs. the various baked goods when he heard the tired steps of Ms. Foster coming down the hall. She went up to the counter and quickly snatched a croissant and a pomegranate.

"I would avoid the bananas if I were you, they taste kind of sketchy," Jane stated as she slumped in the surprisingly comfortable wooden chair that was placed around a classy wooden table.

Pietro finally made a decision and grabbed a plain bagel and a small bowl full of cherries before making his way to the seat across from the short scientist.

"I'm surprised that you didn't go for something sweeter," Jane stated before she took a large bite of her croissant.

"Why are you surprised?" Pietro asked as he looked at her bizarrely.

"Well, a lot of your sister's stories revolve around how your sweet tooth got you both into trouble. And speaking of your sister," Jane said as she motioned her hand in the direction of the west entrance to the kitchen.

Wanda had entered the room a few seconds before either of them had noticed from the looks of it.

"Brother, I was looking everywhere for you," Wanda stated with a smile.

She quickly moved to hug her brother, " How was your first day here?"

"It has been fun so far. Darcy has a great taste in music. How are you doing little sister?" Pietro asked back.

"We are twins," Wanda said as she rolled her eyes and smiled.

"I am twelve minutes older, last I checked that makes you," Pietro said as he gestured to her, "my little sister."

"I hate you sometimes," Wanda said with a mock glare.

"Love you too," Pietro stated as he patted her head.

Wanda glided over to the counter and grabbed an orange before moving over and taking a seat at the table.

"So how is your project going on?" Wanda asked Jane.

"It would be going a lot better if Tony stopped interrupting me," Jane paused, "But aside from that it's going well."

The artificial voice of F.R.I.D.A.Y came through the speakers, "Tony has requested that Jane go back to the main room."


End file.
